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Services help give ads an edge in online dating game
Tara Weiss
The Hartford Courant
Nov. 22, 2004 12:00 AM
After
a month as a member of the online dating sites eHarmony and American
Singles, Jerry McGahan hadn't connected with even one woman.
"I could send 50 e-mails and there wasn't anything coming back," says
McGahan, 41, of Kingston, N.Y. He stumbled on a solution while surfing
the Internet.
The Web site profiledoctor.com advertised that it helps clients create
an online profile that accurately reflects their personality, and that
leads to better dates. An editor there suggested improvements to
McGahan's online profile, and he reposted it.
"Things started to change about three days after," McGahan says.
With so many people dating online -- 29 million according to a May
report by the Online Publishers Association -- it's just not as simple
as describing your likes and dislikes. Daters need to set themselves
apart from scores of others, and many are willing to pay as much as
$300 for the help.
Enter profiledoctor.com, personalstrainer.com and e-cyrano.com. These
sites offer suggestions to make online profiles reflect a client's
personality more accurately, and favorably, right down to the grammar.
These new businesses are tapping into a $449.5 million industry that
their founders say will make online sites more prosperous because
members will be happier with their dates.
But is it really necessary?
"Before you can even go on the date with someone, you have to get them
to read your profile," says Jesse Keller, founder of
personalstrainer.com. "It's surprisingly difficult."
The dating coaches who offer the critiques are not typical romance
experts. Most are writers and editors whose job it is to get the
client's personality onto the Web page in two or three paragraphs.
After McGahan submitted his profile, he got these suggestions:
"Talking about how your life relates to your interest in computers was
a good move. However, you might want to remove the sentence about not
being married to computers and talk more about yourself. How about
something mundane but perhaps important to potential matches? Are you
an early riser? What else do you do in Kingston when you're not working
or at a BBQ? Are you a Dilbert fan or Peanuts? How about mentioning a
favorite band? Get two tickets to a show and ask if they want to go
with you."
There are several levels of assistance, ranging from a critique of an
already written profile to practically having one written for you.
Prices range from about $25 to $300. The most expensive is offered at
personalstrainer.com by "star trainers" including Lynn Harris, creator
of girl.net, and Dr. Judy, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to
Dating."
Jessica Holmes is one of the profile editors at profiledoctor.com. A
graduate student in historical preservation at Cornell University,
Holmes never has direct contact with clients. She receives the person's
written profile along with other elements of the questionnaire, such as
dating goals and the type of person they're looking for. She also
offers advice on choosing a screen name, which makes an important first
impression. She returns the critique via e-mail.
"A lot of people say they care about their friends and family," Holmes
says. "That's sort of a given. I need to weed out (what they are trying
to say) from the rest of what they're saying. Do they live far away
from their family, (so) now their friends are their family? We point
out cliches. If someone says they're really adventurous, why don't we
tell potential matches about how they spend time with friends?"
Aside from poor grammar and spelling, the most common mistake is not being specific enough.
"People love to lead off with a big string of adjectives like, 'I'm
funny, easygoing, and I like to try new things,' " Keller says. "Those
words could just as easily apply to the next person. What you're trying
to do is create a distinction. You're trying to connect with someone
that maybe someone else wouldn't connect with."
McGahan's editors recommended that he state more specifically what his
interests are. They also suggested asking a question, such as, "Do you
like to hike?" He connected with two women in September and has been
chatting with them since. He's hesitant about asking them out, however,
because, "If I push too hard, I get an automatic no."
"We're big proponents of sending profiles to a friend or to a
professional site," says Sandra Cordova Micek, director of marketing
for Yahoo! Personals. "It's not the quantity of responses; it's the
quality."
David Evans created profiledoctor after meeting his roommates' dates.
Several told him that his ad didn't accurately reflect his personality.
Evans started tinkering with the profiles, resulting in better dates
for everyone. The idea spread through word of mouth, and he launched
the company in April.
Here's part of Evans' profile, which was worked over several times by
his staff: "I've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane, advanced
scuba, bike riding, love to run along the Charles and when it's cold
there is nothing better than carving fresh powder. ... Liberal-minded,
I always use turn signals and am able to navigate the Big Dig."
It worked. He's happily dating someone he met on Match.com.
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