By Natalie Karneef, The Gazette (Montreal)
March 5, 2005

Dating web sites are filled with profiles that, well, suck. the worst have inspired an industry: online-ad makeovers "Never go on another bad date again." When she read those words, Stephanie was hooked.

The 29-year-old human-resources consultant from Toronto had tried Internet dating before, but after a few weeks she pulled her profile off the Web.

E-dating initially reaped more results than more traditional methods. "Waiting around for my soul mate to throw himself into my cubicle doesn't seem to be working," she says with a laugh.

But she found e-dating frustrating and overwhelming.

In the beginning, the numbers were encouraging. Five new guys a day were responding to her ad, which read: "Up for grabs: a nice, normal, somewhat intelligent, thoughtful girl."

The men seemed nice enough, but none seemed to appreciate her wit, her eclectic tastes (her diehard Pez dispenser obsession, for instance) and her sensitive personality.

Evan Marc Katz was not surprised. The president of E-Cyrano.com, the company that promises no more bad dates, knew Stephanie had a problem: her profile.

Not that there's anything wrong with being nice, intelligent or, God forbid, normal. It's just that a lot of people are nice, intelligent and normal.

E-Cyrano.com is in the makeover business. Nothing involving renovations, extreme plastic surgery or queer eyes and straight guys, though.

It's one of a growing number of companies capitalizing on the fact that a lot of people are bad at selling themselves, write cliched personal ads and then meet people all wrong for them.

"I have horror stories you wouldn't believe," says Deena, 30, from Pointe Claire. She met a man online who seemed great. "He talked about all the things he did for fun - gourmet cooking, driving out to the country.

"Turns out he shared a tiny apartment with two of his friends from high school, and spent his daylight hours playing video games in his underwear."

Online dating coaches do what so many people can't seem to: create a profile that actually sounds like the person in question. And they use good grammar to do it.

They're often former journalists or advertising writers who will give tips or write the whole thing.

Some consultants work one-on-one; others provide a fill-in-the- blanks template and an automated service writes the profile.

Most makeover sites are American, but they can be used by anyone.

But isn't a personal ad meant to be - ahem - personal?

Doesn't a profile written by a professional writer portray a false image?

Well, no, according to Jesse Keller, president of PersonalsTrainer.com.

"The biggest problem that most of our customers have is that their profile doesn't say anything at all about their personality," says Keller.

"People use cliches like 'I'm fun, outgoing, and I like to try new things.' "

PersonalsTrainer writers help people fill in details with the goal of revealing that person's true character and what makes them unique.

"They try as hard as they can to stay with the voice of the original ad," adds Keller.

Some of the company's star trainers include a writer from Sex and the City, a former dating columnist from Men's Health magazine, and Em and Lo, authors of The Big Bang and Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen.

Katz is the author of I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating. He founded E- Cyrano.com in 2002 after working as a customer-care consultant at AmericanSingles and Jdate.

Katz agrees that most people have a hard time pointing out what makes them special.

"If someone asked me and you about ourselves, we'd probably say the same things," he explains. "We're all kind, intelligent and generous, and like hiking, biking, music, movies and travel.

"So what's going to differentiate you and I from one another?"

Details, details, details.

"You're trying to compete with 100 other people for the attention of the same five people," Katz points out.

"If you were looking for a job, you wouldn't put out a resume that was anything less than perfect and polished. But with online dating, people have a tendency to do a sloppy job with the details."

"Some people just need a bit of a jump-start," says Norman Oder, president of Personaladmakeover.com.

Oder takes a "boutique" approach, dealing with each customer himself. He has them fill out a questionnaire and follows up with a phone call that can last an hour.

"It's during a conversation that you find out what's particularly interesting about a person," Oder says.

Usernames are another area where singles fail.

"Choose a unique username, since it's usually the first thing that someone looks at in an ad - aside from the photo," Oder says.

He adds that the photo you use should make you seem approachable and real. People use more caution online, "so you have to come across as a real person someone would want to meet at a party."

Oder got the idea for the site when two women he'd met online commented on how well his profile was written.

Neither was a good match for him, but he helped both rewrite their ads. Two years later, both women are married to men they met online.

As for Stephanie?

She went for the makeover using

E-Cyrano. She spent 20 hours working on her questionnaire, pausing only to sleep and eat. She then worked with Katz on her profile, and posted it.

It read:

"I love a long walk, a short run, and a great hockey game when the Senators are winning. I'll spend a week obsessing over a jigsaw puzzle without warning. I'm independent but traditional. Serious but playful. Quiet but not shy. The security guard in my building waves at me every day like he's at a parade. My bathroom soap dispenser has little ducks floating in it. I'm all over spending a weekend in NYC, at the St. Lawrence Market, or in bed reading The Time Traveler's Wife for the 13th time. I often forget to check my cell phone for messages. I'll eat anything from steak to sushi (including the rice), but I'm allergic to kiwi, so please don't spike my fruit salad with it. I have a habit of spending too much on gift-wrap. I usually hit the golf ball on the second try, remember to water my plants, and am absurdly nice to guys on blind dates even if they show up in sweatpants. But I wouldn't recommend you try that, if it's all the same to you."

Two days later, she heard from Jamie, whose profile she'd been eyeing for days.

He was instantly intrigued.

Four months later, they're still going strong.

WHAT WILL IT COST? MAKEOVER FEES

Fees for makeovers depend on the service and the experience of the coach or makeover artist.

On PersonalsTrainer.com: $24.95 U.S. will get you a personalized critique and rewrite of your profile name and headline, plus a photo review and tips.

For $299.95 U.S. you can have the whole shebang: a 30-minute interview on the phone and two essays written by a star trainer on the topics of About Me and Who I'd Like to Meet.

At PersonalAdMakeover.com: $25 U.S. pays for an ad critique; for $120 U.S. you'll get a questionnaire, an hour-long phone call to brainstorm your ad, and the ad itself written for you.

At E-Cyrano.com: services start at $49 U.S., which gets you a profile critique and line-by-line edit, a 20-minute phone consultation, as well as detailed suggestions on how you can improve your profile.

If you want your essays written by the man himself, you'll have to go for the platinum package - price unlisted.

DON'T MAKE A GROCERY LIST

Open heart with "alot" to give: the do's and don'ts of writing an online profile:

Do check your grammar and spelling. Bad grammar is one of the biggest personal-ad turn-offs, according to a survey by Match.com.

Do list unique and unusual things about you. If you're stuck, ask some good friends to help you out.

Use examples of ways you "love the outdoors" or "enjoy good wine."

Do describe, in similar detail, the person you're looking for.

Don't make a grocery list of personal qualities. Examples: caring, sensitive and sweet.

Don't use cliches. Anything candlelit or moonlit is definitely out.

Don't say you're looking for "someone to share your life with."

Natalie Karneef